Avon Vs. Gan
|
Lunchtime on Liberator, and Avon's battles are restricted to the 'whack it with a laser probe and count to ten' variety. However, in a touch of karmic comeback from "Spacefall", Avon's attempts at computer fiddling are about to be painfully interrupted. |
|
Enraged by Avon's continual sarcasm and excessive use of proddy tools, Olag Gan bursts into the room intent on violence. His random grunts of rage alert Our Hero ... |
|
... who foolishly emerges to investigate, survival instinct suppressed by his shock at someone else visiting the computer room. |
|
Taking advantage of Avon's confusion, Gan lashes out. Too late, Avon remembers that the Federation has installed Win ME in Gan's frontal lobe! Before he can respond, Avon is already breaking the Alpha air speed record across the control room. Poor show! |
|
Unwisely, Avon now employs the well known brawling technique known as 'allowing your opponent to beat your head repeatedly against the nearest hard surface.' Popular outside pubs and bars worldwide, it was not to feature widely in Avon's later bouts. Gan takes advantage of this slight miscalculation to give Avon a sound beating. |
|
Mildly stunned, Avon is thrown to the deck where he protects himself with a defensive break-dancing move. His cunning Shabba-Doo antics distract Gan long enough for Avon to recover his senses, but now Gan's true goal is in sight ... |
|
The computer! Not content with disrupting Avon's twenty credit bowl
cut, Gan lashes out at the one thing Avon holds almost as dear as |
|
Such bravery! Such self-sacrifice! Like a vixen defending cute fluffy cubs against a maddened grizzly bear, Avon dashes to protect his Shiny Tech ... |
|
...and like a vixen defending cute fluffy cubs against a maddened grizzly bear, he doesn't stand a chance. Oh well. As Avon's head dents a nearby wall, Gan returns to his destructive task. |
 |
Defeated, Avon crawls into a corner to suffer decoratively. Gan moves in for the kill. Oh, what could save the Liberator's porn cache now? Only ... |
 |
... a red swirly thing! By cunning trans-dimensional manipulation of the scriptwriter's mind, Avon induces the appearance of a red swirly plughole effect on Liberator's view screen. The ensuing rush across to the window to have a look causes a minor earthquake, knocking Gan's head against a convenient wall. Hurrah! |
 |
As Avon recovers, he is at least comforted by the thought that his defeat has gone un-witnessed. Unfortunately, the presence of Fearless Leader's belly in a nearby corridor suggests that unhelpful observation has been present for quite some time. |
 |
Our leader enters. Avon makes the most of his humiliating defeat by lying wounded on the floor. Surely biscuits and cuddles will be forthcoming after such brave sacrifice? |
 |
But no such luck. A manager to the core, Blake is only interested in whether Avon's finished de-fragging Zen's hard disc yet. Avon resolves to leave Liberator at the next available opportunity and find a less unpleasant job ... like technical support or sword swallowing. |
TACTICS: 20% Despite some suicidal bravery, Avon's tendency to
let himself be beaten to a pulp was the outstanding factor.
STYLE: 60% A remarkably balletic performance, under the circumstances.
OUTCOME: 10% Not even a chocolate digestive for his troubles.
OVERALL SCORE: 30%
STYLE: 60% A remarkably balletic performance, under the circumstances.
OUTCOME: 10% Not even a chocolate digestive for his troubles.
OVERALL SCORE: 30%